Pope changes St. Patrick’s day, drunks don’t care

In more stories from the Vatican that seem like they’re coming from the Onion, the Pope has declared St. Patrick’s Day as rescheduled to today (March 15th).

Although St. Patrick’s Day traditionally falls on March 17, that date conflicts with the beginning of the Roman Catholic Holy Week, which is the seven days leading up to Easter and the most sacred time of the church’s year.

Unfortunately, I doubt St. Patrick would appreciate being celebrated on the Ides of March – namely the day Caesar was murdered.

This story comes on the heels of the pope’s new seven deadly sins (since people weren’t listening to the old ones):

The seven new sins are practising birth control, biochemical experimentation, drug abuse, pollution of the environment, widening divisions between rich and poor, excessive wealth and creating poverty.

It’s as though the goal of the church is to embarrass itself, as though its beliefs don’t do that already.

Regardless of bishop’s declarations, I’m going to be getting Green this Monday, not today.

2 thoughts on “Pope changes St. Patrick’s day, drunks don’t care”

  1. Regarding the new Sins: you just know that in 1000 years the Church will be using them to prove that the Catholics had all that knowledge of genetics (et cetera) before anyone else, within the first millennium CE, and that God gave it to them.

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