Attempted non-partisan advice to all the parties

We all know I’m biased, but here I’m going to try to be fair and tell everyone what they need to do to be the best off:

Harper

Learn to play nice with others. You have t minus seven days.

Prepare a stimulus package with your cabinet that somewhat fits your Conservative ideology, discuss it with the other parties (since you can’t pass anything without them, you DO NOT HAVE A MAJORITY).

If that doesn’t work, I expect you’ll prorogue until late January (assuming Ms. Jean allows you to), making you look like you don’t want to handle the economy or the prospect of losing your house (which you’ll be kicked out of for renovations anyways). In that time, you’ll likely poor out countless ads portraying the Liberals, NDP and Bloc as Satanic evil baby-eating monsters. And you have the money for it.

It may backfire, as Canadians aren’t huge fans of attack ads, but rest assured, you’ll move your vote from 60% in Alberta to 65%.

Finally, if you go choose to take the confidence vote, you can always push hard for that election. And when you don’t get it (it seems unlikely), you can always blame the Queen and undue influence from Britain (it worked the last time this issue came up). Also, the election would be much better for you, as you could spend countless dollars running against the “undemocratic power grabbing” parties as you’d call them. I can’t predict the overall result of an election right now, except that voter turnout would likely drop.

Other Conservatives

So many of you have realized that Harper’s Liberal blood lust may cost your government its power. Now is the time for an internal coup.

I’m fuzzy on the details, but it may be possible for you to suggest the current woes of your party are all the fault of Mr. Harper, and by going to Ms. Jean and saying, “Look, Mr. Prentice (or other strong party member) here is a stand-up guy who’s willing to work with other parties and has the support of the membership of this party. Make him the new prime minister, and we’ll feed Harper to the Conservative wolves (aka John Baird).”

This is a difficult option, and I imagine Harper has the control of Darth Vader or Palpatine, so likely not an option.

Alternatively, if you are progressively minded enough (i.e. a “red-Tory”), cross the floor, sit as an independent, and offer your support to a coalition that is willing to work together (a so-called “Coalition of the willing”), there may even be a cabinet position in it for you. I say you must cross the floor, since Harper likely won’t let you support the coalition.

Finally, if you are committed to your party, let Harper fall, blame him in the new year, and find a new leader. Of course, you can always divide the party again into a real “Progressive Conservative” party and a more right wing (likely to become) an “Alberta Separatist” party.

The Liberal-NDP Coalition

Adopt the name “New Libs on the Bloc” for the sake of showing you have a sense of humour. It will make people like Dion a little more.

For this to work, you need to make this the best government Canada has seen in recent memory. All of your parties will be crippled if this dies in under a year. You’ve promised 30 months and the Bloc promised a year. If you make those timelines and Canada is looking better economically, we may actually have democracy again.

Look into electoral reform. The Bloc may not like this, but you may be able to garner some Conservative support for the idea, so it may not matter. Of course you can’t sell out the Bloc until they’ve outlived their usefulness (or else they’ll return the favour). It may turn out that this is too unpopular in the House right now, so it’s not a do-or-die piece of legislation. But remember, if this coalition works, it could set the standard for the future of all Canadian politics (and coalitions are more the norm in other democracies that have proportional representation).

Finally, spend the money and advertise that this is how democracy works. Politicians of different stripes actually working together for the good of the country. You shouldn’t have to be ashamed of anything, and flaunt it.

Extra: Also, announce your cabinet soon. Basically look like you’re ready to hit parliament running. Announcing that aid packages are ready is good. You essentially want to be Obama with less charisma.

Jack Layton & the NDP

Hold onto your morals.

Even supporters chuckled a little at your “I’m running to be Prime Minister” campaign, but now you’re probably as close as you’ll get.

This coalition could be great for the NDP, but this requires not being stepped on by the Liberals. Remember that they LOVE power. They felt they deserved the last election, and I have advocated (recently) that the party needs to die before it can come back. You got less than a fair share of cabinet in the coalition, and didn’t get Deputy PM (I didn’t think Finance would be good, it would piss far too many people off). It’s a good time to make sure solid NDP issues get through (child care, education, environment, etc.). The last time you had this much power we got Universal Health Care and a minimum wage, use it wisely.

Liberals

Play nice.

Drop Dion when it’s time, Canadians will not be happy until we have someone else as leader. It’s nothing personal. Also, make it clear that you are a temporary Prime Minister.

Finally, this is your main chance to prove you are capable of leading this country. We’re still upset about how Chretien left, and you need to distance yourself from your past. Prove that you are a new party and work toward that.

Bloc Quebecois

Don’t bring up separation of Quebec.

Just don’t. It’s the main attack point of the Conservatives, and you need to be supporting this coalition solely to look out for Quebec.

Beyond that, you should have a good few years. I think you were smart to promise a year, because you can then pull the plug, but can also see if this is good for Quebec and then give it the rest of the 30 month term that the Liberals and NDP agreed to.

Really, you have little to lose, and you hold the power in parliament. Don’t be surprised if you’re approached by Tories soon to support them over the coalition, but remember their desperate and you’re likely better off with a year long deal with the coalition.

So there you have it, my advice to each party. Please add anything else if you have thoughts?