I know mocking the Catholic Church is like shooting fish in a barrel but this is just to absurd to pass up.
The Pope’s exorcism is a splendid sign because one of the main causes of today’s atheism is that people don’t believe in the Devil any more. But Jesus said: ‘Who is not with me is with Satan.’ If you don’t believe in Satan, Satan has got you in his pocket.
Those are the words of Father Gabriel Amorth, the Vatican’s leading exorcist who claims to have performed 160,000 exorcisms.
After seeing a video in which he claims Pope Francis performs an exorcism, he is calling on the Pope to allow all priests to perform exorcisms, citing growing demand for the practice.
His thinking is that by performing more exorcisms, the Church will suddenly become relevant to the billion people with no religion because apparently it’s Satan’s fault.
I see no flaw in this plan. When in doubt, double down on the crazy.
Just for the record: not believing in god is the main (and only) cause of atheism.
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That’s funny. Either Father Amorth has really poor math skills or he believes everyone is stupid. Even if he was able to perform one exorcism a day it would take him over four hundred and eighty six years to perform that many exorcisms. So unless the satanically possessed are coming to him in bus-loads, I think he is playing us for fools (presuming one actually even believed in exorcism in the first place).
Because exorcisms aren’t real things (I’m going to go out on a limb here), he could probably do as many as he wants. He could wake up one morning and say “I’ve just exorcised the population of Cuba!” Or he might offer the equivalent of a drive-thru exorcism service at the vatican (McVatican–over 160 000 served!) A little splash of holy water, some scary chanting and POOF, cured!